Losowy


- Cios dla kobiecego ego - kiedy mężczyzna zasypia z1
- Słuchaj dzieweczko! - ona nie słucha.
Przesu2

- Kochany, dziękuję Ci za uroczy wieczór i cudowne 43
- Para wybrała się na zimowe ferie do małego, romant4
- Jaka jest różnica między cnotliwą a nie cnotliwą d5
- - Ach, czuję się jak bateryjka - żartuje po stosun6
- Był sobie facet, który dbał o swoje ciało. Pewnego7
- Przychodzi eskimos do baru i mówi:
- Kelner8

- Tata eskimos z synkiem eskimoskiem poszli na polow9
- Kiedy Eskimos wie, że zima jest naprawdę siarczyst10
- Eskimos ciągnie na sankach lodówkę. Widzi go drugi11
- Czego najpierw uczy sie mały eskimos?
- Nie 12



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Losowy SMS:
Mama do Jasia: - Jasiu nie bujaj dziadka! Słyszysz? Nie bujaj dziadka! Jasiu, nie po to się dziadek wieszał, żebyś go teraz bujał.

1. Idzie zając lasem i wrzeszczy:
- Przeleciałem lwicę!...
Spotyka wilka:
- Zając, zamknij pysk, chcesz żeby lew usłyszał? Poza tym i tak ci nikt nie uwierzy.
Zając wzruszył ramionami i drze pysk dalej.
- Przeleciałem lwicę! przeleciałem lwicę!
Spotyka niedźwiedzia:
- Zając, zamknij się bo lew usłyszy, i wszyscy będziemy mieli przerąbane, jak sie wkurzy! A i tak nikt Ci nie uwierzy.
Zając idzie dalej i drze się:
- Przeleciałem lwicę! Przeleciałem lwicę!Przeleciałem lwi...
Nagle zobaczył lwa. Ten wkurzony ruszył za zającem, goni go, goni. Zając wskoczył w wydrążony stary pień. Lew skoczył za nim, ale utknął. Utknął tak, ze tylko tyłek mu wystaje, łeb jest w środku. Zając stanął, podszedł z tylu do lwa,rozejrzał się w koło, rozpina rozporek i mówi:
- W to, to już k****a nikt mi nie uwierzy!

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2. Niedźwiedź był strasznym pijakiem i wszystkie pieniądze przepijał. Natomiast zajączek był prawym zwierzakiem. Pewnego razu niedźwiedź widzi zajączka jadącego Fiatem 126 i pyta:
- Skąd to masz?
- Jak się oszczędza to się ma!
Na drugi dzień zajączek jedzie Polonezem Caro i mijając zalanego niedźwiedzia woła:
- Jak się oszczędza to się ma!
Na trzeci dzień zajączek idzie do sklepu, przechodzi przez ulicę, a tu wprost na niego jedzie Porsche 911. Samochód hamuje z piskiem opon, wysiada zalany, jak zwykle, niedźwiedź i mówi:
- Jak się sprzeda butelki to się ma!

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